Looking Back

Looking Back

He knew that it had been a real mistake, now that he was looking back, but isn’t that always how it is with looking back? Things are so clear, even magnified when you are looking back. It was such a mistake that he wasn’t sure there was any way to overcome it or to even survive it. Sure it had been fun at first. The freedom from his father’s house and business had provided him with so many new adventures that at moments he was not sure he would live long enough to enjoy them all.  His father had been generous with the settlement, given him more cash for his part of the business than he had expected or asked for, but then that was so much like his father, as he was generous with everyone.

The money and independence had been great for a time and anyone who said money could not buy happiness just didn’t have enough money. But in truth it wasn’t happiness that troubled him now, it was survival. The economy had dropped, the job market had collapsed and his plans to go to work and restore his funds before they all ran out had failed. It was gone, all of it as well as all that it had bought, friends, car, big apartment, popularity, all of it was gone.

He thought about William his father’s driver and errand runner. He lived in a nice, small, but nice house. His children all went to college and he had always seemed at peace with himself and his life. He wondered how much his father paid William and how William had become content and at peace with his life. His shift as a burger flipper was almost over but looking forward to another night in the ‘union mission’ did not bring him any peace. He would smell those burgers and all the wine and vomit of the men with whom he had to share the small room crowded with cots and the left behind of society.

Sleep wouldn’t come, but prayer did. He didn’t know how to pray but he remembered his father praying and so he just talked to God. Maybe he could go home and ask his father to forgive him and to give him a job, just any job at his father’s house would be better than this. Maybe, just maybe his father could teach him about peace, he was weary of happiness; he just wanted peace, just peace. What could he loose? His father might say no but he would be no worst off, he needed his father and he wasn’t going to wait until morning he was starting home right now.

Looking back he remember how exciting it had been to leave home but now as he made his journey home it wasn’t excitement that moved through his heart, what was it, was it the beginning of peace?

When he turned into the drive way he saw his father sitting on the porch looking out toward the street. Suddenly the old man jumped up, called to his wife in the house and came running to meet him. As he felt his dad hug him and felt the tears from him falling on his shoulders he was sure that peace was coming, peace was coming.

Ivan    From the story in Luke 15.

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Published in: on May 13, 2014 at 12:05 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Excellent parallel to Luke 15, relatable to our society today!


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